What is Pain?

Pain,wat actually is tat?Let us look at the defination of it in the dictionary...Pain- An unpleasant sensation occurring in varying degrees of severity as a consequence of injury, disease, or emotional disorder.To classify it into simplier form,let me put it into 2 groups.1) External 2) Internal.As the word says external means surface,something tat our eyes can c upon eg. bruises,a cut on finger etc.Whereas internal means more of invisible kind of thing,eg. heartache,emotionally hurt etc.

Pain varies from individuals,depending on the pain threshold tat each can endure.Women r said 2 haf higher threshold than men,the reason being so is tat women can endure through the labour process.Many people find tat women r nt tat strong as they complaint abt pain more than men.I dun deny tat women voice out their feelings more than men, & men usually tend 2 keep everything 2 themselves.Being able 2 voice out doesnt mean tat women r weak,it is juz tat by nature women r like tat.By keeping quiet doesnt mean tat men r strong,its juz tat men find it hard 2 complaint so much juz like women do.Ok,this topic is not focus on which sexes can endure more pain,who is more stronger or watever.

Wat I m trying 2 say is tat,internal pain is greater than external pain.Hmm...wat we can c wif our eyes r physical pain,but internal pain cannot be seen,which make it more dangerous.Some kind of pain we went through can nv be described by others except ourselves.Emotionally abuse or hurt is the worst kind of pain,which one cannot endure or forget.Physical injury/pain can healed but emotional pain can never be fully healed.Humans haf feelings & tat makes it more harder 2 forget & recover.Some may take days,weeks,months or even years,or worst still 4ever stay in our memories never can be erased.

天真无邪

小孩子永远都是那么可爱，吃饱就睡，睡饱就吃。在他们的世界里，从来不会有烦恼，伤心，痛苦。就算是有什么不开心的事，一下子就会忘记，不会摆在心里。看着他的样子，真令人觉得好幸福，好想从来一次当一当小朋友的感觉。

我相信大家都曾经希望，有个从来一次的机会，那如果给你们一次机会，你们又想回到哪一个年代，找寻自己呢？？？我啊，当然最想回到小六会考那年，好好读书考得更好的成绩，说和做想要的事。不过，如果我回得去，我一定会有所遗憾。为什么？因为我会失去一些人与事，那难道是我想要的吗？？？绝对不是。。。之所以有句话说得好，在人的生活里，一定会有所得与失。一定要从中学习到失去的真谛，才能有所收获。至于好与坏，那就是由你自己来判断了。

不过，有时候当一当小孩子也无妨，有人会疼爱你，对不对？能够有一个疼爱自己的人，是多么幸福。如果能够是一辈子的事，那该多好。恋爱的过程，开始的时候总是美丽的，甜滋滋。但日子过的越长，就看见对方的过失，眼前的‘美丽幻觉’就会有所改变在你面前呈现出来。幸运的话，大家会更一层的了解对方，珍惜彼此。不幸的，就会与对方发生争执。如果不坦白的对待，又加了一层透明的墙，使彼此互相猜疑，信任也就大大的减少。最后我想说的是-<让懂你的人爱你>

<让懂你的人爱你> 歌手: 苏永康

你忘不了开始的甜蜜 却怕想起未来的情景
他是会认错的听你哭泣 直到下次又不小心忘记
你解释着孤寂和无力 他却相信那只是情绪
当埋怨都变得没有意义 你想留住的是什么东西

离开爱过的人和回忆 怎能不挣扎不痛心
但是一个最难的决定 往往是最好的决定
让懂你的人爱你 重选一份值得坚持的感情
爱只要有一点点冲动就可以 了解却少些默契都不行
让懂你的人爱你 别舍不得过去只为了可惜

相爱不只是走进对方的生活 更要能走入彼此的生命

受尽委屈(2)

我真是受够了。Ever since last wk,my life at work doesnt seems to be getting any better le.Nt to complaint abt those usual stuffs(busy,responsibility etc),its all abt those extra things tat happened.Of course at work,every1 has his/her assignment & duties 2 perform.Being new 2 this dept,I was being assigned 2 assist senior,learnt how 2 do this & tat,which is suppose 2 be very gd.Originally I was nt assigned to help her.For me,I can say I try my very best 2 do wat I can,whether in learning & working.

Prob is tat when things happened,most or I shld say all blame is on me.Items tat were expired few yrs ago,izit suppose 2 be my fault?Ya,partly is my fault I nv got the chance 2 inform SIS as the following day I worked pm shift.So the next day,I told her tat I haven inform SIS yet cos no chance.Then as a senior she shld by right follow up the matter,make sure tat the junior did her work & whether is it correctly done anot,m I right???But she din & if nobody bothered 2 point out,she wun bothered as well ba.SIS ask during meeting whose duty is 2 check items,then I say she & me.Then I say I 4gotten 2 inform even though I knew abt it,in fact SIS nv scold me cos I admit its my fault.Then she came in,say she inform me & y I nv do,say its my work.Then she mentioned "u think I m talking craps izit,din treat it seriously,play play ah?"Oh,since when I think tat this matter is a joke & shldnt take into consideration????My goodness....

Nevertheless I'm already very tired & numb so I juz acknowlegde,Ya my fault sorry.Then 2nd incident is I was supposed 2 claim time off & dinner time,so wun be taking dinner on my pm shift.Supposingly I m very surprised & happy of course,bcos next day I work morg nd 2 wake up early ma.Then went 2 help out in 2 OT,ard 730pm I m asked 2 go off but by 725pm nobody is here 2 takeover my duty yet,until 730+pm.This still considered ok bcos not tat bad.But who knows I was asked 2 settle my previous OT charge form,the wrong account no.In fact,I m in the right but the information I key in was deleted & pre-check form was threw away.Hmm...how m I going 2 key in the info then so I got 2 check & search 4 it,find the wrong ACC & retrieve info.Luckily,my GS senior Ah Too passed by helped me.As for the rest of the info,I based on my memory & luckily I still remembered if not god knows I had 2 spend how long 2 retrieve the info 1 by 1.

By the time I settled the whole craps & rubbish,it was already over my time abt 20mins.What 2 do,I cant possible say I dun wanna claim time off right?Anyway,SIS asked me claim so do I haf a choice 2 choose?NO no....The most angry part was I heard from SIS,tat SIS-in-charge of tat OT scolded me like hell & asked her 2 come scold me.SHe insisted tat she was right & already keyed in,y did I key in another ACC.I really cant be bothered 2 explain the whole incident 2 her the following day,fed up liao lo.So,let it be 4get it.Y cant supervisor checked out the facts b4 anyhow scold ppl?Sigh....SIAO!!!!!

受尽委屈(1)

又有谁知道最近我到底怎么了，就连我自己也搞不清楚。不是这里这样就是那里怎样，嗨。。。到底身体出了什么问题？睡不好也就算了，还无时无刻的患上头痛。那种隐隐作痛的感觉真令人受不了，尤其最近连续两个星期每周都要值班一次。如果不是患有严重的头痛，以我的性格一定可以忍受。但不知如何事故当我正忙着时，它又来了，逼得我一定要吃药。所以一放工，立刻向同事要了制痛药，马上吃。

自从进入新的工作环境以来，我从来没有过得象现在一样自在。也不能说现在我过得很好，但总比刚来的好很多。已经少了许多被锋利的暗刀从背后刺了，有时候被刺到不知痛是怎么写，都变成了习惯，麻木。可见得我是怎样挨过去的，身心一定很累。一方面要坚强，不能倒下，把自己变成了一个铁人。另一方面，又要快快得把需要学的东西，在最短的时间以内牢牢的记住。
这早已是我的家常便饭。

黑或白？

有时候，我常常在想为什么人要拥有记忆？是为了记录自己的存在，此生没白活？还是把自己最想念的人与事，放在心里？人脑到底可以存放多少东西呢，有没有一个极限。。。如果满了，可以把部分的记忆删除吗？那么应该把哪一部分去掉，是不是从此就不记得它了呢？？？删除掉的那一段又到底去了哪里？？？

什么是美好的记忆，那什么又是坏的呢？有一首歌<遗失的美好>，就说到有的人说不清哪里好，但就是谁都替代不了。怎么说来说去，都环绕着黑与白之间的‘灰色地带’。为何不能分得清楚点？如果世事都要分得那么清楚，那就没意思了。你们大家说说看自己的意见吧，等着你们的回答。

挑战我的极限

These few wks,I feel tat there r a few events which really tested my limit (patience). Or in a nicer way,its like challenging my tolerance & the way I cope with stressful events & diff situations. Maybe it is a gd way 2 mould myself into a very strong person,who can deal wif funny/diff situations. Watever it is, definately they r going 2 be part of my experiences & I tried 2 enjoy the process. No matter wat happens,as long as I can stand strong & knw wat I wan during work.

Talking abt work,surely there r 2 much 2 talk abt & I cant be mentioning each & every 1 of them here. Maybe I'll juz focus on the recent ones...These days maybe I din slp well & enough, therefore bit quiet at work dun feel like talking un-nessarily. Juz feel like having a gd rest at hm,being wif the one 1 like,enjoy frens' accompany after office hrs. I dun talk doesnt mean tat I'm anti-social or got some prob,its juz tat I hope some ppl can juz give me a peace of mind,stop disturbing my silence moments. As a human,I think every1 nd some peace of mind at a certain timing rite,so pls respect mine.Thank you!!!

Becoming more vocal (voice out my tots),I feel tat I m being myself. In the past,I think I haf tolerated 4 quite some time,tats y ppl bully me. Now I m mentally more stronger after wat haf happened these few mths/yrs, teaching me wat 2 observe,ought 2 knw,how 2 handle diff situaitons etc.Although the experiences I haf gone thro is very very drastic & worst than wat u think a gal can handle,but I did it. Protecting myself & interest is the main priority 4 me now,bit self-focus but who doesnt do it???I'm not denying tat one is selfish,esp I haf been depriving of it long time ago.Caring 4 ppl's interest more than mine,is a history now.But nt 2 say tat I dun bother much abt ppl,I still do but nt as much as in the past,bcos I'm really feeling very tired out.Do u knw the feeling of & I'm on the verge of getting the feel.Before anything can happen,I stopped the process.

Sigh...Last wk,I met up wif my sec sch fren.Only thro the few hrs,did I realized I really nd 2 pay more attention 2 her.Nt 2 say I feel pathetic/sympathetic 2ward her medical conditions but I do feel regret.Regret as in y in the past,I can let go this frenship juz 4 some1 I luv.Then the outcome is frenship still stays on strong but relationship dun.There r certain thing in life we can treasure & get control of,so y must we let it go passed & regret in future?I do agreed tat I c a distance btw frenship but was 2 focus on him,tat I neglect lots of my frens.I'm glad tat I haf a chance 2 redemn myself,all the things tat I haf lost. Finally I realized the essence of 'No pain no gain & when u lost something,u gain something'. In the past,I always feel tat y such things happened 2 me & nothing gd can be happening 2 me. But now I feel tat I haf gained more than lost,very happy abt tat.Thanks god!!!

Abt work as u ppl shld knw,its always so busy. Working in this organization its a norm tat we r busy,there r no quiet moments i shld say. Sometimes I m wondering wats the life of a nurse? Besides working, hm, slp, work etc...Of course there r some activities we can do but most of the time,we will be spending on work alone. The rest is a bonus so must treasure it. Juz like 2day circulating in ..a major operation, then got so many crappy things nt settle & docs ask 2 do this & tat. How I wish I can juz stop & dun bother but can I?I haf 2 think abt wat will happen,when ppl takeover me?sure will be frustrated & fed up wif the rubbish I left behind 4 them 2 settle ma,so I haf 2 do my best 2 call the ppl in-chrage & verify.

1)Call the biochemistry lab 2 settle the tumours markers specimens,but line engage abt 30mins lo.dunno wat r they doing???Anyway,I juz book attendant send it 2 them.
2)Split case 2 other OT,case nt vetted & the circulator is a new EN.Ppl there nt in time 2 key in,passed back 2 this OT.So I got 2 settle it,prob is nobody knws this new EN GOT is wat?I almost asked & overturned the whole OT juz 2 ask her GOT.Til now dunno how the outcome cos I was assigned 2 other OT after dinner.Then doc haven vetted,so call the consultant & MO,their hp either nt in use or divert 2 voice mail.U tell me how I feel le,call non-stop few min try but 2 no vain.Then docs came I requested them 2 settled it NOW asap,so done lo.
3)At another OT,messy cos lots of instruments & docs ard.Doing Commando OP & flap,so can understand how the scrub nurse feels lo.Furthermore,needle lost 9/0 needles le,so fine & tiny.So search on the floor on 4 limbs,use sticker 2 stick & magnet 2 attract it on.But cant fine until doc found it,so consider it lucky lo.
4)Then received msg by word of mouth tat something happened in the previous OT i went 2,so wan me go & settle the prob.Watever the prob is,tat is so lame.This is wat the person tell me,its regarding lost needle & lost suture foil?HUH,I was like wat?Wat lost needle & lot foil,siao ah?How can tat be le,if u lost needle the foil must be there ma.If lost foil,needle must be there ma.So how tat person knw 1 needle & 1 foil is lost????Wats wrong wif these ppl huh?Therefore after I passed over my part then went there settle it,who knws its being settled.Ask wat happened they say I 4got 2 enter sutures.But 2 my knowledge I entered every1 i gave lo.Nvm so I call the scrub nurse being takeover wat happened,she told me its so stupid & lame,which in fact I think it is lo.Eg. 4 sutures charted,then counted 6 means either 4get 2 chart on rite?then its circulating's fault.BUt prob is the actual is 4 needles nt 6.The scrub nurse took out the paper which store needle in place from the foil,so tat person go count it as well of course nt tally la.sigh...bit lame but at least I knw it nt my prob can liao.

*Ooops...its getting late,I think I nd 2 get some gd rest & 2moro wake up at 8am+ 2 place my vote lo.Being sick is a prob liao,then still nt enough rest wat can be worst rite?ha....gdnite every1,miss u...